Train Up a Child...

The Bible is a never ending storehouse of the Knowledge of God. As Paul told Timothy:

2Ti 3:16  All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

17  That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

There is much that the Word has to say about raising children.

 Pr 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

So we see that the foundation of training a child, comes from the wisdom and knowledge contained in the Word which is the instructions from the Creator.

Pr 4:20 ¶  My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings.

21  Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.

22  For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.

Keeping the Word before the child, in your actions and in your life will give them the roots for a life that will be fruitful and prosperous, and healthy.

All things being the best for a child, they should have a father and mother. In today’s world there are many broken families. The same principles apply for the raising of children, but it will be much more difficult for one parent.

Dr. Dobson said that there are only three ways to teach a child; example, example, and example.

Your faith in God needs to be open and normal in your actions before your children. They need to see your faith and devotion. You need to pray often with them and in front of them.

Say Grace and be thankful for your food and ask the Lord's blessings on it. Also give thanks for the daily blessings that the Lord provides.

Eph 6:4  And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Sometimes it is not an easy task to keep your temper and not loose it. Your child will learn from you. God treats us all with compassion and forgiveness. He loves us and gave His Son for us. We need to seek Him and follow His example with our own children.

None of us is perfect, and all make mistakes, but we need to show our children that we are sorry and apologize; again, your example is shown. Your words are very powerful, and a demeaning statement, or calling a child stupid, or not as good as a sibling can have bad effects for a lifetime.

Ro 10:17  So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

This truth is that faith comes from what you continually hear…if it is God’s Word then it forms the foundation of faith that we want. If it is the word of the world, then it forms the foundation that is against God and is what we do not want for our children. Careful what they watch and hear, but you do the same.

Commandment 5 is the only command of the first 10 that has a promise with it:

Ex 20:12 ¶  Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

You see when your child honors you, they are honoring God and following the hierarchy that God set up. The secret to long life is to honor, love, respect, and care for your parents. Simple, yet few live to be very old. A promise that is not always practiced or understood for honor and respect are something that is instilled by being honorable and respectful. 

For a young child learning to obey and respect you and God:

 1Jn 3:1 ¶  Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.

They need to know that God made them and they are unique and special to Him, and you.

Jer 29:11  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Corrective discipline for disobedience. This has been shunned, ignored, and taught against for a few generations. But, the word teaches us about it for a reason.

Pr 22:15  Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Pr 19:18  Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Pr 13:24 ¶  He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Pr 20:11  Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

Pr 29:17 ¶  Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

These were not written to abuse a child, but to establish boundaries, limits, and obedience. If a child does not learn limits and obedience when young and home, then when they are away from home and in the world, the workforce, and the law will show them limits and consequence for disobedience, which will not go over well for them.

They need to understand that disobedience and rebellion carries consequence, the quicker the better. Reasoning is not very effective with a young child, they do not understand the concept and will agree to avoid further correction. However they do understand a swat on the butt for disobedience. I used to have a small paddle and when my child would willingly disobey, I have seen them bring me the paddle. I am not talking about taking action in anger, or with an accidental breaking or spill etc. You know when your child willingly disobeys. You are God’s representative to your children.

Pv 1:7 ¶  The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

8  My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:

9  For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.

Heb 12:6  For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

7  If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

8  But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

9  Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

10  For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

Always in love, understanding, and mercy. Never in destruction, sickness, or calamity. People do not understand this. You will see religions talking about penance, or paying for your sin. God sent Jesus to DIE for your sin, you just need to believe in Jesus and what He has done…accept Him as your Saviour in all things. God will not put sickness or injury on you for your sin, would you put something like that on your child for disobeying? All sickness and disease originates with our enemy, Satan. Jesus took your diseases on the cross, Isa 53, 1 Pet 2:23. God chastises you with His Word, just as you can chastise your older children with a word easier than a swat.

De 8:5  Thou shalt also consider in thine heart, that, as a man chasteneth his son, so the LORD thy God chasteneth thee.

God chastises with the Word.

Ps 119:11  Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.

Jer 10:24  O LORD, correct me, but with judgment; not in thine anger, lest thou bring me to nothing.

1 Jn 15:2  Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away (lifts up): and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it (cleanses), that it may bring forth more fruit.

3  Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you.

4  Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.

5  I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

Corporal punishment may not always be required. Some times a "time out" will have the desired effect of correction. Regardless the punishment should fit the infraction, and always bring the child back to your loving arms as the Father does us.

Continuing in Proverbs for an older child, those who have reached the age of accountability (3^rd to 8^th grade):

These kids are for the most part are past swats, and have learned to respect you and your parenting. If you have not disciplined them when they were young, it is going to be hard for you and them at this stage. They should know how to behave, and be familiar with interactions with others, and an understanding of the 10 commandments, because you have introduced them to Jesus, and they are growing spiritually and emotionally. Discipline at this stage should be restriction of privileges or grounding.

Pr 4:23  Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

The heart is where your innermost self resides and by this time should be reflecting a born again spirit.

24  Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.

Think before you speak, your intent, your effect, then speak. If there is not good, be quiet.

25  Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee.

Follow the paths of Jesus: Love, Justice, Compassion, and Peace, don’t lie, steal, cheat, covet, etc.

26  Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.

In following what the Word of God teaches.

27  Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.

Follow the paths that God has outlined in His Word.

For the young teen coming to adulthood, (High School): 

These are no longer kids, but young adults. They need to be learning advanced concepts of interpersonal dynamics. They need to have a respect for others, for life, for you as parents, and foremost for God. They need to be learning about the promises of God and how they can receive them in their lives.

Show them how to avoid the temptations of the world.  Always have an open door and heart for them, to guide and council them.

Pv3: 1 ¶  My son, forget not my law; but let thine heart keep my commandments:

2  For length of days, and long life, and peace, shall they add to thee.

3  Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:

4  So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man.

5  Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

6  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

7 ¶  Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

8  It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

9  Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:

10  So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.

Teach your children to give and be generous and the very truth of the Tithe and all it means. If you don’t trust God with your money and His promises about it, how do you trust Him with anything? They need to learn to tithe and save, also to use money as a tool, and in its place.

11  My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:

12  For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.

Tell them, there may be times that is seems God does not respond. It is always you that walks away, God is never changing. Sin always brings something bad. Rom 8 says that the wages of sin is death. We are forgiven by Jesus, yes, and we should try to avoid things that will hurt us or others, but mainly our Father. When you know you have missed it, ask God to forgive you and go on.

When Noah was saved with his family on the Ark, they were saved. Whether or not he fell down in the Ark, he was still in the Ark. So it is with us who are saved and the Children of God. We are on the Ark of His Salvation in Jesus…nothing can take us from that.

Teach them to learn to listen to God. 

Jn 10:27  My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:

28  And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

29  My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.

30  I and my Father are one.

Teach them to mind their words carefully.

 Pr 15:4  A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit.

Watch what you say, what you confess. Teach your children to know the importance of their words.

Ja 3: 2  For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

3  Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.

4  Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth.

5  Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth!

6  And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

7  For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:

8  But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.

9  Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God.

10  Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.

Mk 11:22  And Jesus answering saith unto them, Have faith in God.

23  For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.

24  Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

Explain that the power of your words can work to the negative side; “my sickness”, “I always catch a cold this time of year”, “I will never find a job”, these kind of statements are not what you want to manifest in your life.

The power of your words is like the faith of Abraham who followed the faith of God and called things that are not as though they were. Rm 4:17

Ps 32:2  Blessed is the man unto whom the LORD imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile. (only through God’s Grace)

Warn your children that some religions try to teach the law rather than Grace, which is the true gospel. Others try and mix law and Grace. This never works. If you think that your life is blessed or cursed by God because of your actions, then the Grace of Jesus has no effect.

Ga 5:4  Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace.

Gal 3: 5  He therefore that ministereth to you the Spirit, and worketh miracles among you, doeth he it by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith?

6 ¶  Even as Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.

7  Know ye therefore that they which are of faith, the same are the children of Abraham.

8  And the scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the heathen through faith, preached before the gospel unto Abraham, saying, In thee shall all nations be blessed.

9  So then they which be of faith are blessed with faithful Abraham.

10  For as many as are of the works of the law are under the curse: for it is written, Cursed is every one that continueth not in all things which are written in the book of the law to do them.

11  But that no man is justified by the law in the sight of God, it is evident: for, The just shall live by faith.

12  And the law is not of faith: but, The man that doeth them shall live in them.

13  Christ hath redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us: for it is written, Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree:

14  That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith.

2Co 5:21  For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.

We are not righteous for our works, but for His work.

Speak God’s promises into your life to receive their manifestation as you believe and trust God to be good to His Word. As your children grow they will see the effects of your faith in life and will be prepared to continue with their faith for all their lives.

Bible quotes from AKJV. Pictures from Inet. A Layman Looks at the Word is non-profit.